


nonagob infinity

by roefizzlebeef



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Epistolary, Gen, Gobbiespeak, Goblins, Original Character(s), Patch 3.0: Heavensward Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-26
Updated: 2020-12-26
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:15:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28343736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roefizzlebeef/pseuds/roefizzlebeef
Summary: Curious, you lean in closer to inspect the bedraggled little book. Written in a bold, childish scrawl, the cover proudly proclaims:Daybook of Boombox Boogiefeets - For eyes of BoomboxONLY!!!Sneakypeeking uplanders will be punished with entire wrath of gobbiekind brought to bear!!!!…Interesting. Suddenly, you find yourself accosted by a mighty foe, indeed: a classic moral dilemma.…Will you read further?the warrior of light takes it upon themself to learn a thing or two about the ironworks team’s newest hire... by reading her diary. naturally.
Comments: 8
Kudos: 22





	nonagob infinity

**Author's Note:**

> I highly doubt that _anyone_ hopped into the ffxiv tag today like "hey, y'know what I really want to read? about 4.5k words of straight up gobbiespeak nonsense". but alas, I've fallen down the rabbit hole with my goblin oc, and so here I am anyway with this... thing. I know it's not what you wanted, but it's what I have on offer.
> 
> if you are at all interested in learning more about gobbiespeak (or if you need some help deciphering this thing, which, fair), I recently published a gobbiespeak guide and glossary! check it out at [gobbiespeak.carrd.co](https://gobbiespeak.carrd.co) if you're curious.

_As the Warrior of Light—Hydaelyn’s chosen, the Champion of Eorzea, god-killer extraordinaire, rider of dragons, stealer of pants (if one is to believe certain accounts), etcetera, etcetera—you are, naturally, no stranger to being asked to fetch things. And at this moment, you are en route to fetch some little trinket Wedge said he’d left on his personal workbench._

_Once you follow Wedge’s directions to the appropriate room (a cramped dormitory room located above the Garlond Ironworks’ Revenant's Toll workshop) you quietly shut the door behind you and turn to begin your search. Granted, you’re not certain what the thing you’re on the hunt for_ is _, really. As usual the technical intricacies of the team’s latest project are not entirely within your wheelhouse, and today you did not deem it a worthwhile use of anyone’s time to pepper them with questions. Wedge did state, however, that “you’ll know it when you see it”, and it turns out he’s right; you almost instantly spot a small, shiny tool that matches Wedge’s description sitting on one of the two small, Lalafell-sized desks against the far wall. You are, to be honest, a little surprised that Wedge is rooming with someone his own size, as opposed to his best friend Biggs—but the intricacies of the Ironworks team’s sleeping arrangements are, quite frankly, none of your business._

_You tactfully avert your eyes from a few discarded pairs of dirty underwear and socks as you pick your way across the messy floor, stuff your quarry unceremoniously into your bag, and turn to go—but before you can exit the room, your eye is caught by a tiny, battered journal that rests atop the pillow of the small cot positioned next to the door. Not Wedge’s, you think; his cot is probably the other one, judging by the frankly adorable drawing of him and Biggs taped to the wall above its pillow. Curious, you lean in closer to inspect the bedraggled little book._

_Written in a bold, childish scrawl, the cover proudly proclaims:_

Daybook of Boombox Boogiefeets - For eyes of Boombox **ONLY**!!!

Sneakypeeking uplanders will be punished with entire wrath of gobbiekind brought to bear!!!!

_…Interesting. You know Boombox, of course; she’s the Ironworks crew’s newest hire, and a highly unusual one at that, for reasons that are made fairly obvious after even a cursory glance at her journal. You first met her a few weeks back, in perhaps the most unlikely spot imaginable—and in a brief fit of bigheadedness, you find yourself curious if Boombox wrote about the encounter from_ her _perspective._

_Suddenly, you find yourself accosted by a mighty foe, indeed: a classic moral dilemma._

_…Will you read further?_

I’m not sure what “entire wrath of gobbiekind brought to bear” means, and I think I’d rather not find out.

 **⇨** …Oh, hells, why not? A little peek won’t hurt. Probably.

_In your characteristically devil-may-care fashion—and, it should be noted, in_ flagrant _defiance of the owner’s wishes—you open the journal._

_It turns out that almost all of its pages are covered in a densely-packed, nigh-indecipherable chickenscratch, made even more inscrutable by the strange vocabulary contained therein: gobbiespeak, naturally. Each new entry, it appears, is prefaced by a complex series of symbols, appearing to be a cypher of some sort. You’ve never seen anything like them in your life, and you expect decoding them would be impossible without some sort of key—but they most likely reference the dates, times and locations from which each entry was written, since this book is clearly used as a personal diary._

_At this realization you feel a small pang of shame for your actions. Sneakypeeking uplander you may now be, but your interest had been thoroughly piqued—what else could you do? Gobbies are an inquisitive sort; surely Boombox would sympathize. You hope so, anyway._

_The diary’s inaugural entry, you determine after a bit of squinting at the tiny writing, reads as follows:_

> ５９⬡𐄻🜀☋☰⧪▞𐆙🜺
> 
> Is tradition that first entry in freshnew logbook requires introduction, so Boombox will provide. Hail, reader! This is logbook of Boombox Boogiefeets, gobbie of fourteen summers.
> 
> Despite common believings, Boombox was not actually born to gobbieflock, but Boombox does not have rememberings of life beforehand—events were storytold from gobbiekin when Boombox asked. Goes as follows: many many summers past, when Boombox was only moons old, Boombox was tightwrapped in blanket and left behind by birthparents, smallfolk uplanders from sandydunes. But never fear—Boombox was found by kindly gobbies, and given new home in biglarge gobbie family! When gobbieflock returned to Eorzea few summers ago, Boombox came too. And Boombox soon choicemade to join gobbie Illuminati, where Boombox is longstaying in nowtimes. Illuminati helps bring knowings to all of gobbiekind, and Boombox does too!
> 
> As Boombox has grown, Boombox has stayed smaller than other gobbies (still only three fulms tall, no matter how much milk Boombox chugdrinks)… but size is no problem! Boombox has wanderheart, biglove for gearfiddle, and wanting for jinglyshine just like any gob. Plus: Boombox is, Boombox thinks, the coolest gobbie around, with the _biggest_ braincase. Addlebrained uplanders, just be waiting and see: Boombox will make name known across all of uplands!
> 
> P.S. In pastweek, Boombox was finding magitek trinket that makes strange beepnoise when Boombox pokeyprods. Was able to make beepnoise change in pitch with different touches! Boombox wonders if trinket can be used for music machine to bring joyous beatsounds to ears of many gobbies. Although Boombox has mostlove for making fierydoom boomsticks and bangybombs, Boombox is brimful of joy to have way to make music! Boombox has always loved music and boogiefeets. Will writeback with findings!

_In spite of yourself, you feel compelled to read a little further. Surely just a few more pages would be fine, right? You’re just learning about a new associate, is all._

_You gingerly take a seat on the little cot—its frame squeals a little in protest beneath your decidedly-not-Lalafellin weight, but holds steady (thank the gods, that would have been awkward)—and flip to the next page._

> ４７⦝⇳𝍖⚊♧⊿♬✽✢⧪🝎
> 
> Pastweeks have been hard… Boombox is thinking Illuminati might not be final jobplace for Boombox after all.
> 
> Most frustrating part is, Illuminati wasn’t always this way!! Heart of Boombox was brimful of happiness to follow Illuminati gobfriends, find many shinynew bittybobs and whirlycogs from across uplands. Boombox and gobfriends made many discoverings together, brought home paperstacks and braincases stuffed full of knowings for good of all gobbiekind. Had much fun making bangyboom fighttimes against uplanders too. Boombox is best at boommaking—can bring bigloud fierydoom to all enemies of Illuminati!
> 
> But then… Quickthinx Allthoughts came.
> 
> Quickthinx plansmakes to activate giant of whirlycogs, found in Hinterlands river. Says steel giant, name of Alexander, will become giant fortress thanks to plans of Quickthinx, and will carry all of gobbieflock to glorytimes… but Boombox is not so sure. Boombox would rather explore uplands and gearfiddle (and bring fierydoom to uplanders if Boombox wants, of course). Homemade gobmachines of Boombox are better than any rusty old giant!
> 
> Quickthinx also makes many strange tongueflaps saying Quickthinx is “futureseer” and savior of gobbiekind, and all gobbies and uplanders must follow decrees or die. Boombox does not care about uplanders, but Quickthinx is _very_ mean to gobbies… and Boombox has even witnessed some gobbies deathmade from angerlashes of Quickthinx. Boombox is not _afraid_ of Quickthinx (because Boombox is bravest gobbie around!!!!!), but still… Boombox is liking Illuminati waychanges less and less with each sunjump. Will have to longthink some more about futureplans.
> 
> P.S. Music machine is nearing finishtimes! Can be used to play happytunes of all sorts, either from uplander orchestrion roll OR from pokeyprod buttons on top, like uplander piano. Boombox has decided to give machine name of… Boom-Box! Why not? Is box shaped, makes thumpyloud beatbooms! And Boom-Box is goodly name, Boombox thinks!

_Quickthinx Allthoughts… His name is familiar, since you’ve had your share of run-ins with the goblin Illuminati by now. This new information is somewhat unsettling, though, and you’d be lying if you said you weren’t a bit worried about the populace of the Hinterlands. A “steel giant” certainly sounds like something to be cautious of. Perhaps you should ask Boombox about it next time you see her—without, of course, letting her know how you found out. Obviously._

_The next handful of entries are short and lacking in substantial detail, so you flip forward a few more pages—however, you are delighted to note that one entry contains a rather adorable doodle of Boombox booting Quickthinx in the rear._

_You pause on the next two entries of significant length, which read as follows:_

> ３９⬡➽⋚⚏⦝↣⛯🝣☀⟲⛝
> 
> Disillusionment of Boombox has proven to be what uplanders call “moot point”. Boombox was fired!
> 
> …Sort of. More like Boombox quit. Boombox will explain.
> 
> Last week Boombox finished shinynew handmade gobmachine, name of Boom-Box. Decided to test it by throwing boogiefeets partytime! Boombox handwrote invitations to all of gobfriends, told to invite all gobfriends of gobfriends, too. And at partytime, played many happysounds for large gobcrowd! Many boogiefeets were had, and Boombox had great fun!
> 
> But then Quickthinx ruin it!!! Quickthinx burst into danceroom and yell, and yell, and yell! Saying gobbies were wasting precious minutes on emptyhead pastimes! Gobbies all go freezestill in fear, except for Boombox. Quickthinx spot Boombox in center of danceroom, come stomping over, all angrygrowling.
> 
> Then Quickthinx grab Boom-Box… and chuckdown onto floor! Boom-Box breaks into thousands of bittybobs, pieces go skitterscatter every which way. And then, and _then_ , he palmstrike Boombox across face!! Boombox is very small gobbie, sent flyfalling into stonewall!
> 
> In hindsight, perhaps was mistake for Boombox to point boomsticks at Quickthinx in front of entire gobbieflock. But Boombox was angerblind! And Quickthinx deserve it for being mean gobbie. Boom-Box was product of much sweatwork, and Boombox not taking palmstrikes from anyone!
> 
> So anyway, Boombox started blasting. Boombox makes shootybangs at dumbface of Quickthinx, pew pew! Quickthinx barking orders at underlings, underlings fire back! Bang! Pow! Boombox dive behind rockpile, keep making shootybangs! Some shootybangs of Boombox are hitting Quickthinx, but they just bounce off—dumb gobbie has armorface, stronger than bullets of Boombox. Perhaps if Boombox had brought _other_ boomsticks from sleeproom, boomsticks that make firefooms and laserblasts and gobbiebombs, Quickthinx might not be so lucky. But Boombox only had one, simple boomstick that only make bullets. Mistake will not be repeated next time!
> 
> Fights among gobbieflock are common these days, and Quickthinx and underlings soon stop shootybangs. Boombox spot opening, make speedyfeets for door. Quickthinx keep yelling at gobbieflock, and underlings not give chase to Boombox—perhaps were only trying to make strongpoint, give Boombox shiveryshakes and make obey through fear. But all are foolish gobbies: Boombox is _never_ afraid!!!!!
> 
> Boombox run to sleeproom, throw most important things into gobbiebag. Then Boombox leave Illuminati for good. Quickthinx not deserving _any_ mindfruits of Boombox!
> 
> Now Boombox need to decide where to make settlecamp. Has been many moons since Boombox was on own…
> 
> P.S. Silverlining goodnews: even without any of original pieces, Boombox still remember how Boom-Box was made. Boombox can rebuild even _better_ Boom-Box in futuretimes!
> 
> １２▞𐆙♔∂⇶≢❁৪႙⍍⏍
> 
> Much and more has happened since Boombox last made handwords. Will try to summarize!
> 
> Boombox was remembering that atop tallhill in Hinterlands, there is big big longstop, name of Idyllshire. Gobbies there have many fightybooms with Illuminati over years. But perhaps, Boombox thinks, they showing more kindness to _ex_ -Illuminati. Worth a shot, Boombox thinks! Boombox plentystrong to defend self if worst comes to worst, anyways.
> 
> Was longwalk across Hinterlands to Idyllshire. Hinterlands is dangerplace, filled with creatures that try to murdermunch Boombox. But hungrygrump sunbears, stingbiting buzzybugs and bigmouth slimyvines no match for boomsticks!
> 
> Finally Boombox arrive at destination and make tongueflaps with guardgobbie at frontbridge. Guardgobbie was making worry-face at many boomsticks of Boombox, but Boombox make many _many_ assurances that Boombox means no harm (for now, at least, unless Idyllshire gobbies deserve it—but guardgobbie need not have knowings of that part). And Boombox was allowed in!
> 
> Then, received introduction to headgob and Idyllshire founder, name of Slowfix Cointoss. Slowfix had shinymask made of bronze—unlike any gobbiemask Boombox had seen before! Also met child of Slowfix, name of Roundrox, and very _very_ tall uplander name of Midnight Dew. All explained to Boombox that Idyllshire is calmplace filled with peaceful gobbies and uplanders sweatworking together. Main difference from average gobbie longstop is that Idyllshire gobbies intend to settle in Hinterlands for longest longstay, until end of gobbie lives! Highly unusual for gobbies. And uplanders live here, too. _Lots_ of uplanders, of all shapes and sizes! Is feeling very strange to Boombox.
> 
> Idyllshire is not overdifferent from Illuminati longstops that Boombox is used to, though—gobbies make speedyfeets every which way, and tongueflaps of busydeals and jinglyshine can be heard everywhere. Idyllshire is filled with gobmachines, too: bigloud whirlycogs and steamypipes and bubblepots that fill air with humsing and bangbooms. Ears of Boombox are happy to be hearing such lovely loudnoise!
> 
> All residents of Idyllshire have been very kind to Boombox, even when Boombox mention Illuminati past. So maybe, Boombox thinks, Idyllshire will be good settlecamp for now. And Boombox will be doing utmost to give lendhands to Idyllshire gobbies and uplanders whenever Boombox can! If Illuminati try to make attackplans on Idyllshire, Boombox will have muchfun giving former employers taste of own medicine… and teachyshowing Idyllshire gobbies and uplanders how to make _real_ gobbie booms!
> 
> P.S. Apparently Roundrox is about same age as Boombox, about fifteen summers. And Roundrox _also_ love bittybobs, and is having large collection!! Boombox planmakes to show Roundrox music machines of Boombox, too. Hopefully, many traders in Idyllshire can help Boombox get mitts on supplies.

_It’s wonderful to see that the residents of Idyllshire are apparently doing well for themselves—but you are, you have to admit, a little dismayed at the untimely demise of Boombox’s “Boom-Box”._

_The next entries primarily contain description of Boombox’s “longstay” in Idyllshire, most of which are fairly rote in substance, but certainly adorable. Also included within are the following: extensive notes evaluating each piece of Roundrox’s bittybobs collection, some surprisingly proficient landscape sketches portraying the instantly distinctive scenery of Idyllshire, hand drawn blueprints for “Boom-Box Mk. II” that appear to rival some of the Ironworks team’s wildest projects in complexity, and what looks to be a small doodle of Quickthinx Allthoughts passing gas._

> ６７✹🝬🝅🜹🜸♔↣⌘╅
> 
> Boombox is back on roads! Was asked by goodly gobbies of Idyllshire after fewmoons if Boombox wanted to become longstay cityfriend, like Slowfix and others. Although Idyllshire gobbies and uplanders were widehearted hosts, Boombox has gobbie wanderfeets, and does not want to be stuck in longest longstay. Perhaps Boombox will settle down someday… but not yet!
> 
> So Boombox said kindly goodbyes to Roundrox, Slowfix, Midnight Dew, and rest of newfriends, repacked gobbiepacks, and made journey out of Idyllshire again. Boombox will make return, certainly! Has grown very fond of Idyllshire. And was nice to have gobfriend of same age! Boombox wonders if would be possible to send letternotes to Roundrox while Boombox is on journeywanders.
> 
> For now, Boombox is on verge of **GREAT** discovery, even bigger and better than music machines: Boombox recalled some secret knowings from Illuminati about manmade continent from days of Allagan civilization, floating way _way_ up in clouds! Is only old myth, scholargobbies were saying, but Boombox always thought those gobbies were stuffynerd addlebrains. Is name of Azys Lla, and is brimful of ancienttimes Allagan tech! Boombox is having _major_ lustyeyes… but will be difficult to find, even for talentful gobbie like Boombox.
> 
> However! Boombox is not _just_ having recipes for boomsticks and music machines in braincase. Boombox planmakes to assemble oneseat flymachine for easier travel across uplands, and will use to ALSO explore wideskies! Gobbiefeets can be hurting after longdays of walking, anyway. May require raiding of Illuminati storerooms for tinkerparts Boombox needs… but Boombox has done so before, and will be no problem to do so again!

_Ah, so_ this _explains a few things. Not only did Boombox seemingly know about the existence of Azys Lla and its history before you and your companions did, she was also apparently able to figure out where it was… entirely singlehandedly._

_Good gods._

_The next dozen or so pages appear to be mostly consumed by Boombox’s notes and sketches from the process of creating her “oneseat flymachine”. These entries are riddled with editorial comments, such as “Mk. V failure to liftoff — Was carrying too much heavyweight. Needs more strengthful propellers!” and “Mk. IX integrity compromised in big bangyboom — Was sent tumblytwisting into trees from strongbreeze. Made Boombox bonk braincase >:(“. The notes on the final version, Flymachine of Boombox Mk. XIV, simply state “BOOMBOX IS BIGGESTBRAIN GOBBIE ALIVE”._

_She also drew a rather detailed map of the Hinterlands and its surrounding areas in the subsequent section of the logbook, intended for, apparently, “logging of supercool newlands hunting trip of Boombox”. Places she’s been, you assume, are marked with a small doodle of her gobbiemask._

_The next sizable entry reads as follows:_

> ８８⚶⚴♧𐆙⇳◉∂⇶⟲☁🜹
> 
> Boombox neglected logbook for several moons, but! Big, big news! Biggest bighuge piece of news!!
> 
> Azys Lla is **FOUND**!!! And now, new home of Boombox!!!!! Boombox will backtrack to explain.
> 
> Construction of flymachine was tough, took longweeks of trial and error. Boombox performed many _many_ tests to ensure all was skyready, and that Boombox would not go flyfalling from clouds like bag of rocks. Was no easy feat! Boombox and flymachine took many tumbles in process. Crashed lots of prototypes into mountains before Boombox settled on final version. Lucky for Boombox, Illuminati storerooms were full of spare parts for Boombox to be “borrowing”.
> 
> Then, Boombox and flymachine set out on journey of lifetimes! Was filling Boombox with many heartthumps to see ground so tinysmall below, with puffysoft cloudshapes on all sides. Finding of continent was actually easier than Boombox anticipated, although did take many longdays of flying through vastskies. Turns out Azys Lla was floating wayhigh above mountain range uplanders are calling Abalathia’s Spine. Was surrounded by magicked lightwall… but uplander techmachines, even Allagan techmachines, are no match for gobbrain of Boombox. Was simple to blast through with strongest laserblasty boomsticks. No problem!
> 
> Azys Lla is **AMAZING**. Has smallbit of monster problem, Boombox admits… but whole continent is positively glowshining with Allagan tech!! Filled with allkinds of whirlycog Allagan machines, too, like nothing Boombox has ever seen, and Boombox has been collecting powerdead ones to be cracking open for machineguts and bittybobs. Adds these to tinkermade boomsticks, just to see what happens—and be believing Boombox, Allagans _definitely_ knew how to make beauteous shootybangs. Laserblasts so strengthful they blastpunch through metal, bangpops that send starrysparks whizzing into skies, whizzlefries that sizzle skinflesh like campfire fizzlebeef, fieryfooms of every rainbowcolor… Is music to ears and eyes of Boombox!
> 
> Boombox spent firstdays sweatworking on tinkermake shortstop in safespot free of monsters. Then Boombox go exploring whole of continent with flymachine at feets and boomsticks and gobbiepack on back, determined to make wholeplace into backyard of Boombox!
> 
> One earlyday on journeytrip, Boombox had just tucked away bedroll and nibblemunched on roadsnack… and was startlejumped almost out of gobbieskin by huge commotion! Magicked lightwall was being attacked by uplander airships, who were also making shootybangs at each other!!! Big sparkyflashes flew through skies with many strengthful bangybooms—Boombox sneakwatched airfight from mouth of bigcave in case of debris. Was very exciting, and Boombox had many heartthumps!
> 
> Took long time, but uplander airships busted through lightwall and soon stopped shootybanging. Watched each make landing on different, faroff parts of continent. Boombox choicemade to backstalk biggest one, took flymachine to follow and snoop. And was goodthinking, because big airship was brimful of uplanders in tincan armor… many _many_ dangerous uplanders, all swingwaving swords and polishing boomsticks. Not sure where tinier airship was landing… perhaps will find in latertimes.
> 
> Anyways, Boombox sneakypeeked from longplace away, saw tincan uplanders deathmaking many Azys Lla monsters while scoutsearching continent for… something. Biggest headboss uplander had deepvoice and long long sharpsteel boomstick, and all other uplanders made speedyfeets to follow whenever headboss command. Boombox is not certain why, because uplander might have been headboss, but certainly had dumbest looking tincan helmet of all. Looks like hoop standing straight up! Boombox is wanting to fire shootybangs through hoop for target practice… perhaps will try later.
> 
> P.S. In recentdays, Boombox got wondering if maybe tincan uplanders have secretstash of bittybobs and whirlycogs used to craftymake so many boomsticks. So Boombox made stealthyfeets toward ship, try to find few pieces to “borrow”. Unfortunately Boombox is not so good at sneakmake, and was caught by patrolgroup sometimes… but punysoft uplanders tincan armor was not as tough as was appearing!
> 
> Was also goodchance for Boombox to be testing NEWEST boomstick, allmade from Allagan bittybobs Boombox was finding in nodes and whirlycog machines—Allagan techpieces are overful of power, so was bigfun to gearfiddle with. New boomstick makes wibblyloud boomnoise that reminds Boombox of Boom-Box music! Tested boomstick on uplander patrolgroup that got close to hidingspot of Boombox, and… well. Let Boombox just say that _those_ uplanders did not homego in wholepieces!
> 
> In fact, was rather big messpile. Boombox will need to be finding cleannew gobbieclothes…

_…Upon finishing this page, you solemnly resolve to_ never _allow Boombox an excuse to put you on the wrong end of one of her boomsticks. (Perhaps, then, you should stop reading her diary.)_

_There’s only one entry left, though, and you’ve already come this far…_

> ９１᱑᱕⊿⌦§⚊𐆙⌘⍎୦
> 
> Boombox has choicemade to leave Azys Lla. Am smallbit sad to do it… but continent will still be there when Boombox wishes to return, anyways, and Boombox is still one of only gobbies or uplanders who knows precise mapnumbers. Should be easyfast to find next time.
> 
> But anyway! Leaving is for good reason—sparklyshining new jobchance!
> 
> Boombox was on earlyday patrolwalk, looking down at gobbiefeets for any bittybobs. Then heard rattleruckus of great noise from nearby—Boombox made speedyfeets to see, since didn’t sound like normal monstergrowls or tincan uplander patrolwalks.
> 
> And turns out, noise was tongueflaps and shootybangs from different uplanders entirely! Was little uplander squad of four; had been watching tincan uplanders from sneakpoint, but were caught (see!! Is not only Boombox who is not so good at sneakmake!!). Headboss tincan uplander was there too, made challenge at new uplanders. So all uplanders started to fight in great bangyboom battle—but new uplanders were not wearing tincan armor, and were getting sittyparts kicked!
> 
> So Boombox stepped in. “Holdfast, tincans!” Boombox said in bigloudest tones Boombox could muster, with boomstick raised high. “Unless uplanders are wanting to be blown to meatbits!”
> 
> …or something like that. Boombox is not remembering specifics. Was happy to notice that several tincan uplanders recognized Boombox, though, and began to shivershake in fear (as all uplanders should!!!!!). Then headboss yelled something to underlings—some raised swords and charged—Boombox armed boomstick (was new favoritest one, one that is making wibblyloud boomnoise!!)— and, well. Reader can probably make own brainthoughts on how fight turned out.
> 
> Boombox didn’t get to gobbie boom headboss, though, since headboss fled back to tincan airship when underlings had all been turned to meatbits. Boombox was smallbit disappointed… but other uplanders seemed grateful. (Littlest uplander seemed unwell, though—Boombox saw uplander clutching at stomach and mouthparts like was feeling queasyturn bellypains. Wondering if uplander is sick. Boombox knows how to brewmake medicinal gobbie rot-tea—perhaps will be sharing recipe!)
> 
> But reader may be wondering at this point, “Boombox, why handlend to uplanders at all?” And, well… is good question. Frankly, Boombox is thinking that any opponent of dumbbrain tincans is friendlyfriend worthy of time. Besides, is not like _these_ uplanders stand chance against Boombox should tongueflaps turn to fighttimes. And Boombox had good feeling about uplanders, somehow. Difficult to explain. Good feeling proved to be right, though—read on and see!
> 
> Anyways: after uplanders thanked Boombox for helping, littlest uplander, name of Alphinaud, explained mission was to find big important fugitive from wintrycold uplands sneakyhiding in Allagan lair. Were planning to send fightyforce inside to capture, but got caught. Was great luckstroke Boombox arrived in time!!
> 
> One of uplanders—big tall uplander, seemed to be strengthful fighter—was sent ahead to Allagan lair to resume fastchase, and other three—uplander in pointybits armor with biglong spear, name of Estinien, staffwavy catgirl name of Y’shtola, and Alphinaud—remained behind to keep ways clear of opponents. (Not that many remained to keep clear… Boombox made certain of that!)
> 
> Pointybits uplander offered to walk behind and makewatch, so other uplanders and Boombox make for return to uplander shortstop. And was full of _more_ uplanders, all tinkerworking with Allagan bittybobs! Boombox is sure face of Boombox lit up with excitement (not that uplanders could be seeing under gobbiemask, of course). Boombox found nearest gearfiddling uplanders to bombard with questions—was small uplander about same size as Boombox, name of Wedge. Wedge said uplanders were part of gearfiddling crew called “Garlond Ironworks”, some of foremost magitek engineers in all of realm. Naturally Boombox was filled with heartthumps at prospect… and finetuned jinglyshine gobsenses began to tingle. So, pestered Wedge to bring Boombox to headboss uplander, name of Cid, and demonstrated for uplanders what Boombox can do.
> 
> Showed uplanders biglarge boomstick collection (gobbie boomed up some monsters nearby, just for because!) and rigged up some Allagan bittybobs to play boogiefeets tunes. Uplanders were impressed, of course! Uplander Alphinaud also put in goodword: told Cid and others that Boombox showed “incredible understanding of Allagan tech and a frankly horrifying martial prowess”. Was great compliment!
> 
> Took a few bells of debate between uplanders, but Boombox always gets what Boombox sets braincase to! And uplanders choicemade to be adding Boombox to team on “preliminary basis”.
> 
> As Boombox handwrites, uplanders are packing up gearboxes to homego on airship, and then Ironworks uplanders planmake to return to workshop in place called Revanant’s Toll. Strengthful uplander made dramafull return on back of dragon few minutes ago, but pointybits uplander was nowhere to be found… uplanders made worry-faces, but choicemade to leave anyway. Boombox is not certain why, but does not matter—Boombox has new jobchance to think about! Will be moving into Ironworks dormitory, meeting lots of new coworkers… perhaps after Boombox is settled in, can throw uplanders bighuge boogiefeets party to show gratitude!

_And that’s it. The rest of the journal is blank. Since your clash with the Archbishop took place only a few short weeks ago, it’s likely that Boombox has not yet had time to write anything more—the chaos of starting a new job and all that it entails have naturally kept her busy. So you close the journal to return it to its resting place atop Boombox’s pillow, and sit in silence for a moment to consider the full implications of what you have done. Congratulations: you have now thoroughly violated an extremely deadly goblin’s privacy._

_…Perhaps, you think, you should begin concocting an excuse should Wedge or his roommate ask you why you took so long to return from the dormitories._

**Author's Note:**

> I like to think that this is written from roe's pov (because, obviously, this is totally something she would do), but since I was having fun writing it as though it was written in the wol's quest journal, I tried to keep it non-specific. I suppose I did establish that the wol in this universe isn't a lala, but feel free to disregard that if you really want boombox to be canon in your lala wol's storyline, lol.
> 
> title lifted (sorta) from the king gizzard album [nonagon infinity](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0rXwufFoJYw). incidentally, king gizz is partly the reason that boombox exists in the first place... I had the idea for her character while standing in the audience at one of their shows last year, watching them perform cyboogie. this is not a joke. that's how my brain works.
> 
> if you want to learn more about my ocs I post about them all the time on my [ffxiv twitter](http://www.twitter.com/roefizzlebeef).
> 
> thanks for reading!


End file.
